Dance:

hmmmm....

dance /dans/ v. &. n. 1. move rhythmically to music, alone or with a partner or in a set, usu. in fixed steps or sequences to music. 2. skip or jump about; Move in a lively way 3. preform 4.MOVE up and down (on water) 5. MOVE (esp. a child) up and down...

NOWHERE in that Oxford/Websters definition does it mention ANYTHING about "must be done correctly in order to be called dance" nor does it say something along the lines of "must be understandable &. preformable by ALL people before it can be called dance"

so my question is this....
who are you to tell me im doing it wrong.?!

34:90 :: closed mouths dont get fed.!

well apparently they do now a days.!!! im sitting here at my bestfriends house... you know Ashley Lynnae, you know the one on Culture Shock Las Vegas with the curly hair that stupid sick,the one thats not just limited to hip-hop but jazz and ballet yea that's right Kim(Toshi's) ex.girlfriend yea her.! MY BESTFRIEND... and all i can think about is how i didnt say anything and now im dealing with more than my thoughts were able to process... i feel like i was writing a essay and someone in my class went behind my back and turned it in disreguarding the fact that it was only the ROUGH DRAFT.!!!!!!!! and the sad part about is i think they forgot that you have to give to get... so when i gave my time to you when you called me in the middle of the night about the other her... i didnt think THIS is what i would get in return... but hey life is all about surprises right.? well peep game.. dont be surprised when i start acting like the royal bitch that i really am... you brought this upon yourself... &. if you feel like you were doing it to help me i didnt need you help, no not at all.. what i needed was time to get my thoughts together before i said something... because as we can all see from my long list of blogs that i dont have any issue putting my thought on paper let alone getting them organized to do so... &. maybe next time when im not feeling so hungry ill keep my mouth open so that way im not fed with your bullshit.!!!

misery loves company & im not spending time with no one.!!!

27:90 :: Mother Knows Best

Frantonia Pollins.. oh how i lo ve my mother... the voice of reason.!! FiNALLY after all this back and fourth with my room mate and all that... my mom talked to her and made her see things from my point of view... & with good reason, i called her at 8.30 this morning and she's getting way more than tired of this.! and i can fully understand why... so the short version of the story is i am currently staying in my current living situation & my room mate will be talking to her boyfriend so that an arrangement can be made finanically along with his living arrangements...

in the meantime i feellike ahuge weight has been lifted from my shoulders right now... an it feels wonderful.!! i dont have too much else to say about the situation other than this... so im gonna end this now & keep things short & sweet.!!

24:90 :: sun shine

Wow.!! these past 4 days have been eventful...from being sick &. having incredible stomach pains... to my emergancy trip to UMC &. getting the WORST news EVER in my whole 20years.!! it has been eventful not just for me but even some of the people im close to...

With all things being said &. done i have been remined that every cloud has a silver lining &. after the storm is over the sun starts shining again.!!

my sun started shining this morning first when i realized instead of me trying to find a room mate why dont i just go live w. Jem Adonis &. Ben.? and let Shadeah figure her own shit out.!! (hahahaha.!! now whos a rude selfish bitch.?!!)

the 2nd shining of sun came when i was reminded by a friend that im not the only one having a bad day &. that i should visit fmylife.com &. oh boy did that make my day.!! 

FiNALLY the last but most important one came when my hubby aka Jasmine came to my job w. L&L, flowers, &. a card.!! it REALLY made me happy... only because in 20 years of life &. 17years of dancing ive NEVER had someone bring me flowers... chocolate, teddy bears, even jewelry.!! but no flowers... so shes the first &. i will ALWAYS remember that.!! i love you Jasmine.!!

all in all my day has been good... it will be great later on when i get to see one of my favorites... JAWKEEN.!! hes teaching HiFi tonight i cant effin wait.!!

23:90 :: Red Chucks

the title has NOTHING to do w. this blog i just liked my shoes... i wish things could be that simple... where new shoes just made all the bad things go away... well im still on the hunt for a roomate &. its getting more &. more difficult; aside from that i yet again have found out that niggas [not men &. yes theres a difference.!] NIGGAS cant be trusted...

i know im typically a fan for details but this one wont have any... except that this is a detrimental life altering &. burdening experience... in other words its really really bad.!! so bad that it has me crying unexpectedly no matter where i am... &. the ish SUCKS.!! i know i said these next 90 days were going to be a learning experience but damn i didnt think this was going to be apart of the lesson...

&. as for you (even though i know you probably will NEVER read this...) i dont hate you... hate has never been a word of choice for me &. it definitly isnt an emotion that i can stir up, but that doesnt mean im not hurt nor does that mean you can just ignore the situation; bcuz im not the only one that has to live w. this... although you should since it was YOUR decision in the first place...

18:90 :: Like a Boy

hmmm... so yesterday while i was at work &. i recieved a text message from an old "friend" &. he immediately began to question me about where i was what i was doing &. why i hadnt called/talked to him; actually his exact words were

"hi stranger"

i had to surpress my superfluous laughter 1. because i was at work but 2. i was in the restroom plus i knew it would echo.! &. 3. because i could only imagine the look on his face if i would've told him

"well actually after seeing 'He's Just Not That Into You' i deleted every guys phone number other than family bcuz im tired of the flip flop callin mr when you feel like it bullish.!"

anyway... my response was clear &. simple "ive been busy", now for some they would've just taken that as a sufficient answer &. left it alone, but no not this character.! that wasnt enough for him...he wanted every detail so after running off everything from waking up, going to sleep &. everything inbetween his response was a simpler than the question...

"Oh..."

but i could tell he didnt expect me to actually be telling the truth...
so after giving him the

"im busy"

deal i began to rethink of EVERY SINGLE TIME a guy i was interested in gave me the same

"im busy"

&. how often i took that in stride never thinking to question the reason... i quickly canceled the feelings of doubt as i remembered that

"im busy" is another word for "asshole" &. asshole was another word for all the guys that 'just werent into me'"

as the doubt flowed out relief &. content rushed in... bcuz for the first time EVER i knew how it felt to act like a boy... so this morning on day 18 of my 90 day hiatus i can be proud to say the shit really works as long as you set your mind to it.... so pick up "He's Just Not That Into You" or "Act Like A Lady, Think Like A Man" a highlighter, a blanket &. your favorite snack &. enjoy the ride... i promise its well worth it.!!

Stephen R. Covey said...

"If we keep doing what we're doing, we're going to keep getting what we're getting."

16:90 :: roundabout

wow.! today was one of those days where i really felt like i didnt belong... so after my AMAZING SD weekend.! i got back to vegas &. was quickly reminded of the bullshit i go through.! &. how often people say they will, can, are gonna &. DONT &. it REALLY REALLY REALLY pissed me off.!

15:90 :: care

Care: (v.) 1. to be concerned about, have an interest in 2. to look after 3. to be mindful of 4. polite or formal way to say want
(n.) 1. a concern or responsibility 2. the career/subject of looking after people 3. not looked after by parents or foaster parents

what a misleading word... personally i think care is worse than love... before a person can love you they have to actually care about you... &. if they dont care then they cant love... so love me all you want but care about me &. ill take you seriously.!!